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Christmas
Presence
By
Paul D.
Houston
At
this
time of
year the
thoughts
of many
Americans
turn to
giving
and
receiving
presents.
It is
centered
on the
Christmas
holidays
but even
other
traditions
have
made it
a time
for
exchanging
gifts.
We make
our
list, go
on one
or more
shopping
rampages,
wrap and
tag and
wait to
see what
we have
gotten.
Then
after
the
giving
orgy is
over, we
throw
away the
paper
and
ribbons
and
start
work on
our New
Year’s
resolutions
list.
Over the
years I
have
noticed
one
thing:
The gift
list is
followed
much
more
faithfully
than the
resolutions,
which
are
quickly
forgotten.
I would
like to
make a
modest
proposal:
This
year put
a
present
on the
top of
your
resolutions
list.
That is,
give
yourself
and
those
around
you the
gift of
presence
this
next
year.
I think
being
present
is one
of the
hardest
things
an
American
can do.
Look at
how our
lives
are
cluttered
with
interruptions
and
intrusions
— cell
phones,
pagers,
instant
messaging,
e-mail,
snail
mail,
televisions,
radios,
CDs,
downloads,
uploads
— I get
tired
and
distracted
just
making
the
list.
Some
have
observed
that
while
Americans’
wealth
has
tripled
in the
last few
decades,
our rate
of
happiness
has
stagnated.
In other
words,
we have
more but
seem to
be
enjoying
it less.
I think
at least
part of
the
problem
is that
we are
so busy
doing,
we don’t
have any
time to
be.
Slowing
Down
I have
noticed
this in
my
travels.
Folks in
other
places,
particularly
Third
World
locations,
which
have so
much
less,
seem to
have so
much
more —
more
fun,
more
enjoyment,
more
spontaneity
and more
connection
to what
is
important.
Americans’
lives
are so
full of
“important
business”
nothing
is
important
anymore.
How do
you set
priorities
when
everything
is a
priority?
How do
you
enjoy
life
when
there is
no time
for it?
I long
have
been a
student
of
Eastern
philosophy,
which
teaches
a
different
way of
living.
It
promotes
acceptance
and
presence.
(OK, I
know
a lot
more
about
this
stuff
than I
do,
but at
least
let me
share it
with
you!)
There is
a value
to be
derived
from not
doing
anything.
There is
a joke
about
the
teachings
of
Taoism,
which is
“don’t
just do
something,
stand
there.”
Now that
is an
extreme
interpretation,
but
there is
much to
be said
for
slowing
down
long
enough
to at
least
look at
the
windows.
My
friend
Richard
Green,
the late
chancellor
of the
New York
City
Public
Schools,
once
said to
me he
was so
focused
on the
future
that all
he did
in the
present
was
breathe.
Now it
is
admirable
for
leaders
to be
future
focused
because
we have
to help
the
people
around
us find
their
way in
the
journey.
Someone
has to
read the
map. But
I was a
little
sad when
Richard
said
that to
me
because
I
realized
that he
was
missing
life by
planning
life.
This was
heightened
a couple
of years
later
when he
died of
an
asthma
attack —
he
literally
couldn’t
breathe.
I always
wondered
whether
he got
so
focused
on the
future
that he
forgot
to even
breathe
in the
present.
But I
think
that is
a hazard
for
superintendents
and
other
school
leaders.
We are
so busy
looking
out the
windshield
at where
we are
going
that we
don’t
take the
time to
look out
the side
windows
to see
where we
are.
This not
only
means we
are
missing
a lot of
life,
but we
may be
endangering
ourselves
as well.
We might
not see
that
truck
coming
up a
side
street
at us.
Personal
Appreciation
This
danger
was
brought
home to
me last
spring
when I
had to
rush to
the
hospital
for
emergency
surgery
for an
infected
gallbladder.
I had
been so
busy
running
through
life
that I
kept
ignoring
the
warning
signs of
deteriorating
health.
I was
lucky.
Skillful
surgery,
help
from
loved
ones and
time in
a
hospital
brought
me back
to
health.
I would
like to
think it
also
brought
me to my
senses
(well a
little
bit
anyway)
as I had
to slow
down and
just be.
I
couldn’t
move
well
enough
and
didn’t
feel
well
enough
to do
anything
else.
And you
know
what?
Everyone
managed
to
survive
just
fine
without
my
sterling
leadership.
I was
reminded
of the
guy who
once
said of
a
departed
colleague,
“Yeah,
I’ll
never
forget
old
what’s
his
name!”
While
leaders
are
important
and
leading
is a
critical
role,
sometimes
we have
to
remember
that
stepping
back is
the best
way to
move
forward.
How can
we do
that?
Maybe we
could
post a
note to
ourselves
to
remind
us to
stop and
smell
the
coffee.
When I
was in
the
hospital
I wasn’t
getting
enough
oxygen
into my
system.
This led
to
pneumonia
and some
other
complications.
Periodically,
I had to
use a
breathing
machine
that
forced
me to
draw
deeper
breaths.
My lady
Sandy,
kept
reminding
me to
breathe.
My
children
even got
me a mug
that
said
“breathe”
on it. I
had to
be
reminded
to do
the most
basic of
activities
a human
must do
to
sustain
himself.
I
thought
of
Richard.
The
hardest
things
we have
to do
are
sometimes
the most
basic.
For
leaders,
we have
to fight
the
inclination
to
always
be “on”
and to
always
keep
moving
forward
and
thinking
about
tomorrow.
Right
now is
all we
have to
control.
We have
to be
present
to deal
with it.
One of
my
all-time
favorite
movies
is
“Ferris
Bueller’s
Day
Off.”
I’ll
leave
you with
the
basic
tenet
that
Ferris
lived
by:
“Sometimes
life
goes by
pretty
fast and
if you
don’t
slow
down,
you
might
miss
it.”
In this
holiday
season,
give
yourself
and
those
around
you the
best
present
possible
— your
presence.
Article
also
available
at the
AASA
website
Paul
Houston
is AASA
executive
director.
E-mail:
phouston@aasa.org
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